The ability to lead has so much to do with communication. The lack of clear communication creates confusion and insecurity.
I recently realized a habit I have that was creating confusion in leadership. After a conversation with one of my leaders on the phone, my wife pointed out to me that I have a habit in my communication that may be sending unclear signals to those I have expectation of. It’s a two letter word – “WE.” In my efforts to make my leaders feel my support and like I’m in it with them, I will say “we” when I should be saying “you.” For example, “We need to send out a follow up to all the visitors from this past month.” or “We need to set a date for our small groups to begin.” You get the point. In doing this I am creating mixed signals. Does he really trust me? Does he really expect me to do that? When I was unaware of this I realized I was frustrated thinking there was something wrong on the part of my leaders, who possibly could not do what was expected or possibly it was a lack of initiative or motivation. Maybe they didn’t agree and just didn’t want to tell me. I found that the problem was me and how I was not leading with clarity in how I communicated my expectations.
Man, what a difference one word can make. We must continually evaluated how we are communicating in leadership or we might find ourselves talking only to look back and find we are only talking to ourselves.
What have you learned about leadership and communication?
Great point. And a huge awareness on your part–thanks to your fabulous wife who so lovingly helped you out there! ;-) But it is a lesson that applies across the board, I think…not just in a pastoral leadership role.
I have learned over the years (the hard way) that I can’t control how others communicate/respond (as much I may want to! ha!), but I CAN do my part on my end to communicate/respond in a way that would be pleasing to God. To take each situation as it comes and to be as clear and specific as I can. But before I start complaining about the other person, I have to look at myself first and see if I need to behave differently. And I also say to myself, “You never know what someone is going through or where they are coming from, which may affect why they say or do what they do.” I don’t get it right all the time, but at least I try to pay attention! :-)
Love you!